In the name of Science

When I first laid eyes on this photo, I thought: Kawaii! Cute leh!

Then I read on. This little white mouse's spine was deliberately injured, then injected with blue food colouring (explains the blue) and observed for effects of the dye on treating spinal cord injuries. The mouse was killed 6 weeks after this experiment for further examination. Well, the brave sacrifice of this little mouse did show scientists that blue dye do have some positive effects on spinal cord trauma and the colour goes off in a week. Will this work for humans in future? Or will it be red, yellow or green food colouring that does the final magic?

I suddenly shudder at what we do in the name of science. For full report of this article, it's at National Geographic News

Back to Normal

I broke down last week, after many weeks of pent-up "act tough" pressure.
The loneliness and the "useless" feelings really got into me. I tried to affirm myself by telling everyone I'm ok and enjoying my time here, but all the time I'm losing control bit by bit.

It is abit silly.
Many people would want to trade places with me.
Being the little housewife in a nice environment. Do whatever I want, no stress.

The logical mind tells me that unemployment rate is high now, and employers naturally want to give priority to residents. With my Masters and experience, I might be over-qualified for many jobs that I've been applying.

The emotional (and ilogical) mind tells me that I'm a failure to face so many rejections and it's silly to study so much when it restricts my employability. Even working in a supermarket needs a permanent visa, which I don't have now because we're still waiting for it.

The now-at-peace mind now tells me to take things easy. We have friends who waited for more than 6 months before landing a job. There are many things coming our way in the next 1-2 years and we might have planned them, but we never know how things will work out. Until we're clearer on our visa status, I guess it is OK to wait patiently. No hurry. Don't let the kiasu Singaporean mindset kick in. :)

Time to move forward in faith.

The Desperate Housewife

Nowadays

I suddenly get emotional when Hubby asked why I cooked rice for dinner.

I felt that I was not appreciated of the only things I do now....the cooking, baking, cleaning....

I am paranoid about silly things.

I found a hair on Hubby's jacket few days ago.

I insisted it was a blond hair that didn't belong to me though I knew it was mine.

I think I am getting into the desparate housewife mode - longing for attention and affection.

I keep forgetting the hugs and the morning kisses. I keep forgetting the silly things he does just to make me laugh. I keep forgetting the little surprises he makes. I want bigger surprises and actions to justify and affirm my value.

Gosh. This desparate housewife is getting scarier by the minute. No amount of Jeffery Archer and Danielle Steel is going to help. Funny. I didn't turn into Bridezilla 5 years ago, but am on route to become a HouseWife-Manic now. =P

The Tap

Finally!

After nearly 1 year, my leaky bathroom tap is fixed.

No more ugly pail in the basin!

We asked for the tap to be repaired ages ago.

The plumber came once months ago. But left without fixing the tap because he said "no spare parts". This morning, our house agent finally brought along another plumber to fix it.

Sigh. Even getting a tap fixed need to wait for 1 year. :P

Mails with Meaning

Got 2 mails in the letterbox 2 days ago.

1 was a rejection letter from UQ for one of the positions that I applied for.

Well, it didn't really come as a surprise. With the unemployment rate going up every week,

I reckon I'm not exactly in the first priority list. Maybe I should just be happy to find some casual job, and concentrate on getting my TESOL cert and preparing for the "mission". Haha.

The other one was a surprise.

The gals back in office sent me a birthday card.

It was just a simple card, but carried lotsa of love and care from the team.

Just writing about this brings tears to my eyes again.

I'm not totally sure now if I just missed them, or also the work. :)

Update

Ah...

I've been back in Brissy for exactly 1 month now.

Some might say I'm enjoying the tai-tai life, free from the stresses of work.

In week 2, I had withdrawal syndromes.

I was lethargic and don't feel like talking. I just wanted to hide in the house and not go anywhere. My record was 6 days - only went out to church on Sunday.

I missed the chit-chatter of the girls at work. I missed the challenges that I needed to deal everyday. I even missed the hustle and bustle of Singapore city life.

BUT...

It is also a fulfilling experience to be the house-maker.

Time flies fast here. By the time I'm done with some household chores, reading emails and playing restaurant city on Facebook (hee...), it's time for hubby to be back for lunch. After lunch, I make tea, pick up a good book, and the evenings just whizzes by.

I'm well-recovered from the withdrawal syndromes now. Actively looking a job and praying for a good opening that God will place me in. I want to serve in the students' community, and have been concentrating on openings in the Uni. Will see where God leads me.

And I'm back to my cooking sprees. Started baking last week, and made first attempt at making a wintery soup - Butternut squash. Tasted like pumpkin soup...but yummy though! Will try my hands at more soups this winter. Warms the stomach!

What's next? I'm packing for an overnight trip to Stanthorpe with some friends this Fri. It's one of the coldest places in QLD - perfect to taste the bitterness of winter. And when I'm back, it's on to routine job search and enjoying my books again. :)